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Find the Good During Challenging Times: Unexpected Silver Lining for Children of Divorce

Megan Decadi | January 19, 2023

The decision to get a divorce is never an easy one. It can become significantly more complicated when children are involved. Many couples will choose to stay in a marriage for the sole reason of sparing their children the emotional pain that divorce may bring. This is a valid concern, as divorce can be particularly hard on young children – but that doesn’t mean that continuing to stay married is always the right decision.

It is true that divorce can have a negative impact on children.  However, it is equally true that divorce can have a positive impact on children as well.  But how, specifically, can divorce be good for children? Here are a few ways in which a divorce can benefit a child.

Divorce Can Remove Children from an Abusive or High-Conflict Environment

A physically abusive home is something no child should have to endure. Verbal or emotional abuse can also be very traumatic for a child.  And unfortunately, it is not uncommon for unhappy spouses to engage in high-conflict, toxic styles of communication that can cause harm to a child’s well-being.  Even if the abuse or toxic communications are targeted at one another and not at the children, observing it can have significant and lasting emotional consequences for children.  Obtaining a divorce and removing children from these sorts of harmful environments may at times be the best option for ensuring that they have the greatest chance for success as they grow up and begin their adult lives.

Children of Divorce May Gain a Different Perspective on Relationships

Some children who go through divorce develop a deeper understanding of the complexities involved in relationships. While a marriage that ends in divorce may not show children how a relationship should function, it can help them recognize patterns they don’t wish to repeat in their own relationships.  This deeper understanding may help children to engage in healthy and stable relationships later in their lives.

Experiencing a Divorce May Increase Empathy in a Child

While there are situations in which a divorce can ultimately be better for a child, that doesn’t mean it won’t be a difficult experience for them. Divorce can be just as challenging for the children involved as it is for the parents. Even amicable divorce proceedings can put some level of emotional strain on a child. Experiencing these hardships may influence children of divorce to be more sympathetic to issues that others are experiencing in their own lives.

Children of Divorce May Grow to Be More Self-Sufficient

Following a divorce, it is likely that both parents will work full time in order to provide for themselves and their children.  This means that children may arrive home from school before their parent returns from work.  These situations can provide children with the opportunity to become more self-reliant.  They learn to handle chores on their own, make simple snacks for themselves, and practice other important self-care tasks.  Developing these life skills can help children to be better equipped to handle life later on.

Witnessing an Amicable Divorce Can Improve Conflict Resolution and Communication Skills

After a divorce is finalized, most children will split their time between two separate households under child custody agreements. These types of situations often require a great deal of communication between co-parents. Developing healthy co-parenting and conflict resolution habits and an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse can set a great example for children. By showcasing your own conflict resolution and communication skills, you will be assisting your child in improving their own. Conflict-free exchanges between co-parents can also offer reassurance to a child who is struggling and in need of support during a time of significant change and can help the child see that although change can sometimes be scary, it isn’t necessarily bad.

If you need help navigating the divorce process, contact Goranson Bain Ausley today.  Our skilled attorneys are here to assist you.

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