When parents decide to divorce, one of their first concerns is how their children will be affected. Even if both spouses know ending their marriage is the right decision for their family, it can be difficult knowing their children’s lives will not be the same. Fortunately, there are steps that you can take as a couple to make this transition as smooth as possible and improve your children’s lives post-divorce. Here are a few things to consider:
Communicate and work together to present a united front to your children.
If parents don’t work together to provide their children with a unified message, it can lead to significant emotional turmoil and make their kids feel like they must take sides. This means that children may feel they must blame dad for leaving or mom for making dad leave. Regardless of how hard you may try to communicate and work with your co-parent, it’s not always going to work out. In that situation, you want a lawyer that’s going to be working with you to come up with the best plan possible to protect your children.
Don’t use your children as a confidant.
You should be the confidant for your children so that they can come to you with their problems and receive the love and support they need. It should not be the other way around.
Be mindful of how you communicate about the other parent.
Everyone should know not to talk to their children negatively about the other parent; this applies to both direct and indirect communication. My job as a family law attorney is to listen to my clients, understand what matters to them, and help them reach their goals. I want to do everything I can to help them achieve the best possible outcome for them and their families.
Continue to communicate the children’s best interests after divorce.
Parents should not lose sight that they each have something to offer to their kids. For example, one of my dearest friends who is also a family law attorney told me something that really stuck with me. She said that dads give their kids wings so that they can fly, and moms give their kids a soft place to land. And I think that’s beautiful because it’s true; children don’t need their parents to be identical; they need the best of each of their parents. It’s important for parents to keep in mind that the other parent does have something very special and unique to offer their children.
Many parents hesitate to divorce because they are concerned with how it will affect their children. However, it’s important to remember that your children need the best of what each of their parents has to offer, and you might be your best self after ending your marriage. While there is likely to be an adjustment period, by staying civil and working with your former spouse, you can minimize the impact of divorce on your children and focus on the bright future ahead.
Divorce brings about a lot of change, but one thing it should not change is the strong bond between children and their parents. To discuss how you can meet your and your children’s needs during divorce, call Angel Berbarie.
Angel offers high-level experience in managing large asset cases, including complex property divisions. She is skilled in solving challenging financial and child custody issues, including divorces where the parties have interests in businesses, significant retirement, or investments to be divided, and where a customized possession schedule is needed to meet the family’s needs. Angel is Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization and was named a “Texas Rising Star” by Thompson Reuters, 2012-2018. She has also been recognized as a “Best Lawyer” in family law by U.S. News-Best Lawyers in America, 2021-2022.
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