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Why Won’t My Attorney Criticize My Ex?

Tom Trahan | July 23, 2024

Family law cases – divorces and child custody battles – often involve heightened emotions. At Goranson Bain Ausley, we sometimes hear frustration from clients and their loved ones because they feel there isn’t enough negative emotion being directed toward the opposing party. While we are committed to fighting for the rights of our clients with every resource at our disposal,  we also believe in representing them with professionalism and, when possible, a cooperative attitude. Here is why.

Honey v. Vinegar

As Ben Franklin wrote, a “spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.” The modern legal system encourages parties to settle cases before they reach the courtroom. This is often better because it allows the parties to have some control over the outcome rather than receiving a cookie-cutter solution from a judge who knows little about their families. The high cost of litigation also encourages settlements. If the goal of a family law case is to reach a settlement, it makes no sense to provoke the opposing party or their attorney. We understand the emotions involved in our clients’ lives, and part of our job is to prevent anger from being communicated in a way that could hinder a successful outcome.

Staying Composed Works

In hearings and trials, judges are responsible for determining the outcome of your family law case. Whether it’s dividing the marital estate or deciding parenting time with the children, these decision makers are influenced by the behavior of the parties and their attorneys. Many hearings have been lost when a father or mother testifying flashes anger or contempt. Judges and jurors are attuned to the subtle truth behind the words being spoken. Being respectful, open, and honest is the best strategy to influence them and achieve the best outcome. Sometimes being a good spouse or parent is not enough – it has to show in the courtroom.

The Legal Profession Encourages Civility

For decades now, lawyers have signed the Texas Lawyer’s Creed when they become licensed. Designed by leading lawyers and adopted by the State Bar of Texas to prevent inflammatory or underhanded tactics in negotiations or litigation, the creed is a promise made by each lawyer licensed in Texas to act with civility, honesty, and courtesy. At Goranson Bain Ausley, our attorneys have not only signed this creed but strive to live it every day. You can access the Texas Lawyer’s Creed here:

https://www.texasbar.com/am/template.cfm?template=/cm/contentdisplay.cfm&contentid=30311

Ethics Rules Require Courtesy and Respect

In Texas and in most states, the rules of ethics require that lawyers treat people involved in lawsuits with courtesy and respect. Attacking a party or another lawyer, let alone a judge or court personnel, can result in a lawyer being sanctioned. Judges and lawyers observing such behavior have a duty to report it to the State Bar or they too can be sanctioned. Our legal system for family law cases is called “civil litigation” because it is expected to be just that – civil. It is designed to resolve legitimate disputes so that hurt and angry people can avoid taking the law into their own hands. Our attorneys will do everything they can to win your case. But we will do it in a professional manner.

The Benefits of a Constructive Approach to Achieving a “Better Divorce”

Maintaining a constructive and respectful approach to divorce is essential for several reasons. It protects children from unnecessary conflict, preserves important relationships, particularly in co-parenting, and helps clients move forward with confidence. The way we treat those we love (or used to love), especially if they are also a parent to our children, is remembered by our families and friends and affects their feelings about us. Respectful behavior positively influences legal outcomes and ensures a smoother transition to the next phase of life. Divorce is not just a transaction; it’s a significant transition, and how you handle it matters greatly.

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