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Tips for Effective Communication During a Divorce

Jonathan James | October 28, 2024

With emotions and stakes both running high, a divorce can quickly devolve into a contentious and complicated process. That’s why effective communication during a divorce is so vital. Whether you want to protect your children, keep your business secure, or ensure that everyone receives a fair outcome, you need to know how to assertively and clearly convey your thoughts. In many cases, communication can be the deciding factor in protecting the life you’ve built for yourself or having to start over.

The Importance of Communication in Divorce

When a marriage is ending, it’s easy to see communication and divorce as opposing forces. After all, you’ve accepted that the marriage is over, and many wish to have as little communication with their soon-to-be ex-spouse as possible. However, it’s essential that you don’t discount the importance of communicating during a divorce. Communication can make the divorce process much easier, helping to pave the way for more amicable negotiations, save time, reduce stress, and even minimize your legal expenses.

Challenges of Communicating During a Divorce

Maintaining calm communication with your spouse during the divorce is often easier said than done. Feelings such as mistrust, anger, and betrayal can easily overwhelm you and cloud your judgment during the proceedings. Giving in to these feelings instead of keeping a calm demeanor can lead to unhelpful tactics like name-calling or avoiding conversations altogether. When this happens, it can prolong the divorce and even lead to less favorable outcomes.

Learning to overcome these obstacles and communicate in good faith can be essential for:

• Protecting your business and assets
• Ensuring the well-being of any children involved
• Reaching a fair and equitable settlement

Strategies for Effective Communication During a Divorce

Here are some practical tips for communicating during a divorce:

1. Set Clear Boundaries

It’s important that you and your spouse set your boundaries early on. These boundaries can be related to which topics are open for discussion, how you should communicate around your children, and whatever else you may or may not be comfortable with. The goal of setting boundaries should be to protect your emotional well-being throughout the divorce and keep you from feeling overwhelmed at any point.

2. Be Respectful

It can be difficult to stay calm when dealing with your spouse during divorce, but it’s important that you don’t resort to things like sarcasm or name-calling. If at any point you feel overwhelmed during a conversation, simply inform your spouse that you need to take a break and you can pick up the discussion later. It’s always better to give yourself time to clear your head rather than react out of anger or sadness.

3. Choose a Communication Method That Works for You

Communicating face to face is sometimes too difficult for those going through a divorce. That’s OK, as there are plenty of other methods of communicating during divorce. You can keep your communications limited to phone calls or even just in written forms, such as emails or text messages. However, it is important to be mindful of what your write if you choose a written medium. Those conversations may be brought up at some point in your divorce and could be taken out of context during the proceedings.

4. Stay Objective

Do your best to set personal feelings aside whenever possible. Focusing on facts and solutions instead of hurt feelings can help lead to more constructive outcomes.

5. Think Before Clicking “Send”

During the divorce process, you may receive a message from your spouse that upsets you. Perhaps your spouse does resort to sarcasm and name-calling despite your best efforts to avoid engaging in that yourself. Your natural reaction may be to respond in kind. However, all that response will do is continue a downward cycle of ineffective and counterproductive communication. Instead, if you receive a communication that causes you to be upset, frustrated, or want to respond in turn, wait before you fire off a response. One method commonly utilized is to type your response, save it as a draft, and come back a few hours later to re-read it. Once emotions have calmed with the passage of time, does that draft reflect a respectful and objective communication style? 

6. Get Help From a Professional Family Law Attorney

Getting an outside perspective can be invaluable when determining how to maintain effective communication with a spouse during divorce. An experienced divorce attorney can help guide you through the process and inform you of the best ways of communicating during the divorce.

You’ve invested time, energy, and passion into building your life and livelihood: Don’t let poor communication during the divorce jeopardize that. Contact Goranson Bain Ausley today to schedule a consultation and find out how we can help with your divorce.