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5 Ways to Keep the Mother/Child Relationship Strong During and After Divorce

Angel J. Berbarie | May 2, 2022

Mothers going through a divorce often fear how such a life-changing event will impact their relationship with their children. The truth is that there is no other bond like the one between a mother and a child. That said, this bond can be put to the test during a divorce, and mothers need to be intentional about protecting their relationship with their children. Here are five ways mothers can be sure to maintain a strong bond with their children during and after divorce.   

Show and Tell Your Children You Love Them.

While you may believe it’s obvious how much you love your children, they still need to see and hear it. There is so much in flux during a divorce; your children need to know that your love is a constant. Tell them daily and give them physical affection as well. While older children may think they are too grown up for a hug from mom, they’re not.

Maintain Structure.

Showing your children you love them does not mean bedtimes and grade standards are out the window. Most children thrive in environments where there are rules and structure. It is especially important to maintain the homelife structure children are accustomed to as they experience a change in their family dynamic due to a divorce.  

Do Not Make Your Child Your Confidant.

Divorce is hard, and it’s important that you have the support of your friends, family, and a skilled divorce attorney. You may also need the support of a therapist who has experience in helping people during and after divorce. However, you should not lean on your children for this kind of support. Your children should know that they can lean on you for support during the divorce process, not the other way around. If your spouse is engaging in bad behavior, you should discuss options to address this with your divorce attorney, and your children should not be part of this.

Give Your Child Permission to Love Their Other Parent.

While there is nothing else like a mother/child bond, there is also nothing else like a father/child bond. These bonds may be different, but they are both very important for your children’s emotional health. It is important for mothers to let their children know it is okay to show love for their father and to enjoy their time with him, without the fear that this will somehow hurt mom.

Be Present for Your Child.

It is inevitable that at the conclusion of a divorce, your child will not always be with you, because now you will be sharing time with their other parent. The time you have will depend upon your possession schedule, but the time you are present with your children will depend upon you. Be intentional about making the time with your children count. This does not necessarily mean planning trips to Disney or extravagant outings, though those things are nice too. From a more day-to-day perspective, it means having meals together and engaging in conversation, staying off your phone when you’re at your children’s events, and making watching movies together special – get your popcorn ready, snuggle and actually watch the movie instead of zoning out on social media. Your children know the difference, and you being present means so much to them.

Learn More

Divorce brings about a lot of change, but one thing it should not change is the strong bond between a mother and a child. To discuss what a Standard Possession Schedule looks like and how this can be customized to meet your and your children’s needs, call Angel Berbarie.

Angel offers high-level experience in managing large asset cases, including complex property divisions. She is skilled in solving challenging financial and child custody issues, including divorces where the parties have interests in businesses, significant retirement, or investments to be divided, and where a customized possession schedule is needed to meet the family’s needs. Angel is Board Certified in Family Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization and was named a “Texas Rising Star” by Thompson Reuters, 2012-2018. She has also been recognized as a “Best Lawyer” in family law by U.S. News-Best Lawyers in America, 2021-2022. 

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