How to Help Kids Cope With Moving to a New Home
Moving to a new home can be an exciting adventure, but it often comes with challenges and big emotions, especially for parents and their children. The process can feel overwhelming for kids as they leave behind familiar surroundings, friends, and routines. Those feelings are compounded when the move is accompanied by other big changes in their life, like their parents’ divorce or a significant gain or loss in household income because of a parent’s job. Whatever the reason for the move and with the right support, you can help your kids navigate this transition and turn it into a positive experience.
Stick With Routines as Much as Possible
Routines provide a sense of security and stability, which is especially important during major life changes. Try to maintain your family’s daily patterns, such as meal times, bedtime rituals, and weekend activities, as much as possible. Familiar routines, like reading a bedtime story or having a family movie night, can help children feel grounded in their new environment. This is particularly important if the child will be dividing their time between two different homes after a divorce; maintaining some of their routines in both places can provide much-needed consistency and stability.
Let Them Make Decisions
Involving your children in decisions about the move can help them feel more in control of their lives. While they obviously won’t have a say over things like whether their parents get a divorce or which house they should buy, children can be given control over what color to paint their new bedroom, how they want to decorate their space, or what clubs they want to join at their new school. You can also involve them in the process of making bigger decisions like choosing a house or a neighborhood to live in: You may not end up choosing what they wanted, but asking for and considering their input can help them feel involved and empowered.
Help Them Stay in Touch
Leaving friends behind is often one of the hardest parts of moving. This can be especially true if the move is part of a separation or divorce, a situation in which children may already feel an added sense of loss. Help your children maintain relationships with their friends by scheduling regular phone or video calls. Encourage them to exchange letters, emails, or small care packages. Older children can also use social media to stay in contact with people they care about.
Keep an Open Dialogue
Communication is key when helping your kids adjust to a big change. Children might have a mix of feelings about moving to a new home, from anxiety about going to a new school to excitement about decorating their new bedroom to sadness or anger if the move is prompted by their parents’ divorce. Encourage them to share their thoughts about the move, whether they’re excited, nervous, or sad. Listen without judgment, and validate their emotions. Reassure them that it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions and that you’re there to listen and support them.
Understand and Sympathize With Their Feelings
It’s important to recognize and respect that your child may grieve the loss of their old home and community. They might also lash out in anger as a way of expressing their frustration with the situation. If divorce is part of the equation, they may also be processing changes in their family structure, which can add another layer of big emotions to the mix. Be patient and empathetic as they work through these feelings. Avoid dismissing how they feel by saying things like, “You’ll make new friends soon” or “It’s not a big deal.” Instead, acknowledge their feelings and let them know that you understand why they feel that way and it’s OK to miss what they’re leaving behind.
Express Optimism
While it’s important to acknowledge the challenges of moving, you should also highlight the positives and try to keep an upbeat tone about the situation. This is especially true if you’re also dealing with your own negative feelings about the move: Having to move can be rough on parents, too, especially if you’re moving because you lost your job and need to downsize your home or you’re getting a divorce and have to move out. But putting a positive spin on negative feelings about the move can help both you and your children feel less stressed. If the move is due to a divorce , emphasize the chance for a fresh start and new opportunities. Talk about the exciting possibilities that come with a new home, such as making new friends, exploring a different neighborhood, or decorating their room. Your optimistic outlook can help your kids see the move as an adventure rather than a loss.
Additional Resources
- Advice for Moving With Children
- How to Help Your Child Adjust to a Move
- Moving to a New City With Children
- Helping Children Adjust to Two Homes After a Divorce
- Nine Ideas for Helping Kids Cope With a Move
- How to Talk to Kids About a Move
- Preparing Children for a Move
- Moving With Children
- Child Custody Lawyers
- Moving and Young Children