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Specialty tag(s): Pre-Divorce Guidance, Divorce

PART 1: Building the Right Support Team for Divorce

Aimee Pingenot Key | January 15, 2026

The beginning of a new year often brings reflection—and for some, clarity that a major life change is necessary. If divorce is something you’re considering, preparation matters. Divorce is not just a legal event; it affects nearly every part of your life. How well you prepare at the outset can shape not only the outcome of your case, but how you experience the process itself.

One of the most important early steps is building the right support team.

Key takeaways

• Divorce affects every part of life, so you need support that covers more than the legal process.
• Take time to meet with professionals yourself—recommendations help, but trust and fit matter.
• Leverage the strength of each professional on your team for what they’re qualified to do (and avoid relying on the wrong source for the wrong kind of advice).
• Prioritize your health so you can make clearer decisions throughout the process.

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Why Your Divorce Team Matters

There are many capable professionals you may work with during a divorce. Often, an attorney, CPA, or counselor is recommended by a friend or family member. Recommendations can be helpful, but they should only be a starting point. I encourage clients to meet with any professional themselves and decide whether that person is someone they trust, feel comfortable with, and believe understands their priorities.

When choosing your divorce support team, I advise clients to focus on two things.

First, choose people who can support different aspects of your life, because divorce rarely affects only one area. It touches your emotional well-being, your finances, your physical health, your children, and your sense of stability all at once.

Second, be intentional about how you work with each professional. Problems often arise when people are asked to provide guidance outside their training or experience.

Friends and family usually mean well, but legal and financial decisions made during divorce can have long-term consequences. Similarly, attorneys are trained to give legal advice—not to help you process grief or trauma. When each person supports you in the way they are best equipped to do, you are more likely to feel steady, informed, and protected throughout the process.

Below are the key roles I often recommend clients consider when building their divorce support team.

Emotional Support

While there may be moments when leaning on a trusted friend or family member is appropriate, I almost always recommend working with a professional counselor or minister during divorce. This is especially important if the divorce involves significant trauma, such as domestic violence, substance abuse, or unresolved childhood experiences that are resurfacing.

A counselor can help you:

• Process emotions without judgment
• Find appropriate language to talk to your children
• Stay emotionally grounded while making difficult decisions

Some people need only a session or two. Others need more sustained support. Either way, having a qualified mental health professional can help ensure that emotions, while valid, do not end up driving decisions that affect the rest of your life. Our office can also offer recommendations if you are looking for a counselor.

Physical Well-Being

Divorce places the body under prolonged stress. I often explain to clients that their nervous system is essentially on high alert for months at a time, producing stress hormones that are not meant to remain elevated long-term.

This is why I encourage clients to be intentional about basic self-care, even when it feels difficult:

• Eat regularly and well
• Prioritize sleep
• Reduce alcohol and excessive caffeine
• Avoid reliance on illegal or unprescribed substances

You are making some of the most significant financial and legal decisions of your life. Your ability to think clearly and respond thoughtfully depends on your physical well-being more than most people realize.

Legal Support

Even in cooperative divorces, most people benefit from legal guidance at some point. A family law attorney helps you understand your rights, responsibilities, and options so you can make informed decisions—not just for today, but for your future.

I often recommend meeting with more than one attorney before choosing who to work with. Come prepared with questions, concerns, and goals. The right attorney should not only be knowledgeable, but someone you feel heard by and confident working with during a very personal process.

Financial Guidance

Financial uncertainty is one of the most common sources of anxiety in divorce. A financial advisor can help you evaluate decisions you’re making now and how they may affect your long-term stability.

You may also need to establish a relationship with a new CPA or tax advisor, particularly if one professional previously worked with both spouses. Divorce often marks a transition point where each person needs independent financial advice moving forward.

Spiritual Support

Divorce can raise difficult spiritual questions, particularly for people of faith. I often hear clients describe feelings of guilt, isolation, or uncertainty about their place within their religious community.

If faith is important to you, this may be the time to seek out a spiritual environment where you feel supported, accepted, and able to ask hard questions without judgment. Spiritual guidance can be a source of stability and hope during an otherwise disorienting time.

Supporting Your Children

Divorce is hard on children at any age. When conflict is high, the emotional impact can be lasting.

One of the most important things I remind parents is this: children should never be placed in the middle. Courts do not ask children to choose sides, and parents should not do so either.

Children tend to see themselves as part of each parent. When they hear negative comments about the other parent—or that parent’s family, those messages are often internalized. Even when the other parent behaves poorly, you can control what your child hears from you.

I strongly encourage parents to allow children to work through their feelings with a counselor of their own. This gives them a safe space to process emotions without feeling responsible for protecting either parent.

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A thoughtful support team can steady you emotionally, protect your children, and help you make better legal and financial decisions, and in Part 2, I’ll walk through what to do before you file to reduce surprises and create a clearer path forward.

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